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If your child has hinted that someone is bullying them but begs you not to tell the teacher, your child is not being difficult. You can take most of the risk out of telling: listen first, contact the school yourself, and be clear about what you want the school to do.
Why is my child afraid to tell the teacher about bullying?
Almost one in three students (32%) has been bullied by peers at school at least once in the past month, according to UNESCO's 2019 report Behind the numbers.
A 2026 study asked 108 young adults why they had not told teachers about being bullied at school (Dawes, Lohrbach and Ho-Olinger, International Journal of Bullying Prevention). Their reasons fell into a few groups:
thinking the bullying was not serious enough to tell
worry or shame
doubting that the teacher would help, or not feeling close to the teacher
wanting to handle it themselves, or having other people to lean on
not wanting to be a "snitch" in front of classmates
the bully being a friend
Each reason points to a fix. A child who fears being a snitch needs the report to come quietly from you; one who doubts the teacher needs to see a follow-up date.
How do I make it safe for my child to tell me?
Your first reaction can shape whether your child tells you more. Keep it calm, even if you feel furious.
Say thank you first: "I'm really glad you told me. This is not your fault."
Ask open questions and let silences sit: "What happened? Who was there? Has it happened before?"
Don't promise to keep it secret. Promise this instead: "I won't do anything without telling you first, and we'll decide together."
Ask what your child is most worried about: being seen, the bully finding out, or the teacher not believing them.
Start a simple log together: the date, what happened, who saw it, and screenshots if it happened online.
For more openers, see these after-school questions that get real answers.
Should I contact the school myself?
Yes, usually. The CBSE circular on prevention of bullying and ragging in schools (Acad.-17/2015) says parents "must be sensitized to report in confidence" any bullying their child tells them about. Write it down, so there is a record, and send it to the class teacher, and copy the counsellor if your school has one.
Here is a script you can adapt:
"Dear Ms Rao, Aarav (7B) has told me that two classmates have been taking his lunch and mocking him in the corridor after the second period, on several days this month. He is worried about being seen as a complainer, so please handle this without naming him in front of the class. Could we speak this week? I'd like to know what steps the school will take and when we can check in again."
Stick to facts, don't label the other child, and ask for a meeting. If there is no reply in a few working days, write to the coordinator or vice-principal. If your child's trouble began in a class group chat, see when to step back and when to tell school about online fights.
What should I ask the school to do?
The CBSE 2015 circular lists steps schools are advised to take, so you can ask about each one. If your school follows another board, ask for its own anti-bullying policy instead.
Confidential reporting: the circular calls for "accessible, confidential, secure and effective" ways to report, for victims and bystanders. Ask how your child can report next time without being seen.
An anti-bullying committee: it suggests one that includes the vice-principal, a senior teacher and a counsellor, with members' names and contact numbers displayed in school. Ask who is on it.
A counsellor your child can confide in, which the circular says schools should arrange where possible.
A graded response: actions start with an oral or written warning and become stricter for serious cases.
Calm afterwards: the circular says schools should make sure that neither child is "branded".
End the meeting with one agreed action and a review date. Then ask your child how school feels, not just whether the bullying has stopped. Our guide to steps to take when your child is teased at school covers the milder cases.
When is it more than a school matter?
If your child is hurt, threatened, or stops eating, sleeping or wanting to go to school, see a doctor or counsellor. For free support at any hour, Tele MANAS, the government's 24x7 toll-free mental health helpline, is on 14416 and works in several languages.
Bullying can also make it hard to concentrate in class. Once things settle, Fermi's AI tutor can work out what they already know and build a plan for the session, so catching up at home starts from where they are.
Tonight, start with one calm question and a promise that you will decide together what happens next.
