On this page
Your child shows you a message, or goes quiet after looking at their phone. How you react first matters as much as any app setting. Here is what to do together, in order.
What counts as cyberbullying?
UNICEF defines cyberbullying as bullying with the use of digital technologies, on social media, messaging platforms, gaming platforms and mobile phones (UNICEF). It is repeated behaviour aimed at scaring, angering or shaming the person targeted: spreading lies, posting embarrassing photos, sending threats, or impersonating someone.
It is common. A WHO/Europe study of more than 279,000 young people aged 11, 13 and 15 in 44 countries and regions found that about 1 in 6 had experienced cyberbullying (WHO/Europe, 2024). The same survey found the share rose between 2018 and 2022, from 12% to 15% for boys and from 13% to 16% for girls.
What should I do first if my child is bullied online?
Start with your child, not the phone. Thank them for telling you. Some children stay quiet because they worry the phone will be taken away, so say early that this will not happen as a punishment.
A simple script for the first conversation:
"I'm glad you showed me. You haven't done anything wrong."
"I won't take your phone away because of this."
"We'll decide the next steps together. I won't message anyone without telling you first."
Then work through these steps side by side.
Don't reply. A reply, even an angry one, can make things worse and can be screenshotted against your child.
Save the evidence. UNICEF suggests collecting text messages and screenshots of posts to show what has been going on (UNICEF). Capture the sender's username or profile link, the date and time, and the group name. Copy everything into one folder in case posts get deleted.
Report and block. UNICEF advises reporting the behaviour on the platform itself and blocking the bully. Reporting matters: a platform usually needs a report before it can find and remove the posts.
Keep a short log. For each incident note the date, the app, what happened and who saw it.
When should I tell the school?
If the bullies are classmates, tell the school, even if the messages arrive at night.
CBSE's 2015 circular on preventing bullying names cyber-bullying, such as unpleasant messages or photographs, as a form of bullying, and asks schools to set up confidential ways to report it (CBSE Circular Acad.-17/2015). It suggests an anti-bullying committee that includes a counsellor, and a graded response that ranges from a warning to suspension and, in the rarest cases, expulsion. If your child's school follows another board, ask for its anti-bullying policy.
Write to the class teacher or counsellor rather than raising it at the gate. A short email works:
"Dear Ms. Rao, my son Arjun has received hurtful messages from some classmates in a group chat since 3 October. I have attached screenshots and a short log. Could we meet this week to discuss how the school will handle it? Arjun would like this kept confidential."
Agree on next steps and a date to check in. Our guide to parent-teacher meeting questions that lead to real follow-up can help you plan that meeting. Avoid contacting the other child or their parents directly in anger; let the school mediate.
When is it a matter for the police?
Some situations go beyond bullying: threats of violence, blackmail, someone pretending to be your child, or anything involving intimate images. In India you can report cybercrimes on the National Cyber Crime Reporting Portal at cybercrime.gov.in, which has a special focus on crimes against women and children, or call the 1930 helpline, which runs 24x7 (PIB, Government of India). You can also go to your local police station. Take your evidence folder and log with you.
How do I keep my child talking after this?
The goal is that your child comes to you next time, early. A few habits help:
Check in casually: "Anything new in that group?" in the car beats a formal sit-down.
Ask before you act. Tell them each step you plan to take.
Keep normal life going. Agreeing on phone-free times together, as in our piece on family rules for phones and homework, tends to go better than a sudden ban.
Notice changes: trouble sleeping, avoiding school, dropping friends or hobbies.
Tele MANAS was launched by the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare (IIT Kanpur Counselling Service). Our guide to exam stress in teenagers, and when to get help also explains when stress needs a professional.
If schoolwork has slipped during a hard few weeks, Fermi's AI tutor can work out what your child already knows and build a plan for the session, so getting back on track starts with one clear step.
